Super Flower Moon🌻🌛🌝🌜🖤

Every full moon, since I have started marking them for my own spiritual and healing journey has come with ‘time to forgive’, ‘forgiveness list’, ‘let go’, ‘release’ messages attached to it, urgrgrh!!

As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, religious abuse AND narcistic family abuse (a single toxic individual, unfortunately surrounded by innocent albeit deeply deluded and blind enablers).

Forgiveness was too often used as a form of control. So naturally my entire being yells a loud FU at any attempt to encourage the ‘forgive nonsense’.

Forgiving feels like condoning, accepting and worse ALLOWING abuse. I have read all the powerful beautifully touching stories of people forgiving horrific abuses and finding peace. I would nod and smile, whisper ‘good for you’ but reaffirm that I could and would never ‘forgive’ i.e., condone/accept/allow what I had experienced.

Yesterday a nontoxic family member and I had a deep soul bearing chat and she touched on forgiveness in a way I myself have toyed with as an option.

Forgiving to release and be free.

I have zero love or affection left for any of my abusers and I very humanly struggle to embrace and accept those who enable and support them, and even worse make excuses for them while vilifying me.

Anyone who has escaped any control-based dynamic knows the cult like bs that surrounds narcistic toxic, controlling systems. Love and loyalty are used to control and manipulate your feelings and behaviours. Forgive them and release them with love is just one more aspect of the control I very proudly and stubbornly REJECT.

But like everything in this world, there is power in reclaiming, let us take back what the toxic in this world try to use against us.

Do not forgive for them, their way, forgive for you, YOUR way!

I will not condone/accept/allow the abuses I have endured, but I will cut myself free, and create a new pro-survivor definition of forgiveness.

Pro-survivor Forgiveness.

I release, your ties to me, I replace my justifiable anger with self-love.

I no longer cling to anger and drown in the residual poison you have left me with. I Forgive ME, I release ME. And I fully completely and wholeheartedly cut off all that ties me too you, including my anger.

My gift of forgiveness is to myself.

I am FREE!

(Feel free to use this during your own release process, I preferred a full moon cord cutting ritual, I have found the physical symbolism in rituals to be a tangible and

grounding way to work through things, but we are beautiful individuals so you do you Boo!)

Abusers thrive when they get attention and obedience, they even thrive off your anger, some of these twisted cretins even get aroused by rage and fear.

We win and heal not when we hate them or forgive and accept them back but when we move beyond rage and our absolutely valid anger into complete apathy.

When YOU matter more in your life than what they do. When YOUR dreams and YOUR healing are the priority instead of fighting them.

Harness that anger (a valid emotional response to abuse) into healing fuel!

Fight for therapy, fight for your dreams, your love and your joy.

I am not there entirely just yet; it is a work in progress, but I am much closer than I have been. I am still healing, learning, growing!

I realised, my anger although it emboldened me, also made me bitter, it meant people heard my anger instead of my story, coz my focus was on my abuser instead of on my survival story, my amazingly exciting dreams or my weird n wonderful healing journey. Let their Karma be their justice.

You deserve freedom, not to be stuck fighting an unjust system / society/ their enabler for justice that drains the joy and dreams right out of you.

Give them your apathy and feed your feisty firecracker warrior energy to your dreams instead!!

This supermoon is asking us to let the anger, the old ways, old patterns go.

To focus on the beautiful dreams, we are building and how we can make the world a better place. For ourselves and others.

Let it go, FORGIVE, but do it for you precious hearts coz you deserve full freedom.

May your wildest, most loving dreams come true. May you be the amazingly powerful warrior that not only survived but THRIVED!!!

-Dani (T3lesto)